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Life is Choice

Life is choice.

This is the thing I keep trying to remind myself. Not always a choice that I love, but choice. I choose to have a good day. I choose to help others. I choose to act for myself, not to be reacting all the time.

I choose to try, to give, to love, to forgive, the learn, to teach, to question, to challenge. I look to disprove my assumptions. I seek to find the solution, to be the solution.

Life is too short to be angry, hateful, closed minded, unwilling, obstinate , prideful, selfish (in a destructive way), petty, ignorant, foolish.

I dare to question myself. I dare to ask myself, “Is that true, or are you just wanting it to be true?” Please do not get me wrong! Being these things is hard. I wish I had learned this stuff sooner. It is hard admitting that something I believed my entire life is wrong. It is hard to turn to the person I thought was the villain¬† in my story and apologize for being the villain in their story. It hurts to realize all the hours, days, YEARS I have wasted on petty, silly, shallow things.

But the most amazing thing about me, about all of us, is that we are capable of learning. We are capable of change. We are more than our environment. We can and will be able to overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges by our choice to be more, to rise above.

Each time I get angry, I ask myself, “Why are you angry?” Then I keep answering the question until I find the root of the the weed that has held back my growth. And each time I realize it falls down to me feeling helpless. Most of the time there is something I can do to change that situation via conscious effort, but sometimes I just have to admit that I can do nothing except accept and move on.

I have come to realize my response to helplessness is anger.  I have come to realize that other people have very different responses to helplessness such as fear, hiding, sickness, cry, screaming, shutting down, laughing, and self-hate. This realization has given me compassion others. It has given me compassion because now I know that I am not alone.


Life is too short to be swallowed up in helplessness. I try to help myself. I try to help others. Maybe it is by seeing the tired clerk in the checkout late at night and offering to buy him a beverage as a part of my groceries and expecting nothing in return. Maybe it is calling up a friend and sincerely asking how he or she is doing. Maybe it is admitting I was wrong, and accepting responsibility for my choices. Maybe it is forgiving a family member for a life long hurt.

All of these give me power because I am not the sum of my experiences. I am the sum of what I take from my experiences. Being free of helplessness is a choice. It is a journey. It is hard. But so far… it is worth it!